Some nicknames are so apt, so obvious, that it would be absurd not to acknowledge them. For our purposes, the most perfectly appropriate is that which Ian Thorpe was evidently born to bear. Go ahead. Picture a torpedo with a goofy grin and scuba-flipper feet — size 17, to be exact — draped in a galaxy of Olympic medals from Sydney and Athens, including five freestyle golds, and you’ll have a pretty good picture of Thorpedo.
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